confused? -x

change
change
change

thats all what i've been seeing lately.
nothing but that.
everything.
is.
different.
now..




i'm loosing everyone who was there for me.
those who once cared.

but then.
here i am, gaining old friends back into my life, and making new ones..

so is this all so bad in the end?
you win some you lose some, kind of thing?

i dunno.
it makes me feel empty yet alive at the same time.

its so confusing..

secrets? -x

secrets.
what are they really?

a bunch of messed up memories not wanting to recreate?
a bunch of messed up words that bring hatred and guilt?
a bunch of messed up people and they're horrible choices?
all of the above?
none of them at all?

who knows.
but whatever i do know is secrets are suppose to be kept.
locked up in your mind.
the day that you decide to share that secret.
is the day that it will transform into something otherwise.
just a bunch of useless words.
and a way into your life.
a way to ruin you.

all secrets are suppose to be kept.
but all secrets will be eventually told.
since were all curious human beings.

we all have secrets.
all that we've told.
and others we haven't.
yet.

we all know other peoples secrets.
all that we've told.
and others we haven't.
yet.

i just wish we didn't all have to be hypocrites.

♥

explain? -x

so i've been wondering ...

how life works.
cause honestly lately, i don't get it.
you work so hard for something for so long
and within seconds its gone.
vanished.
you've been nice. extra nice. the nicest ever..
and you'd think positive karma would come around.
instead.
the worst comes.

you're born with innocence
and care.
yet your gifted with a horrible disease.
before your life can even start.
before you can even live your life.

your whole life has been about achieving.
yet the underacheivers go farther than yourself.
unfair.
truely unfair.

if there is a god.
then why is he doing this to us.
make us stronger?
show us a lesson?
change our perspective?

i wouldn't know but all i can say is life is unfair.
truely unfair.
sometimes we deserve what we get.
but mostly, we don't.

god, please, freaking explain?
♥